Allison

My New Blog!

2010-03-09T12:41:00.000-08:00

Well, I took a good long break from blogging, but now I'm back!

www.allisonwetherbee.com

The new site is called Living Limbless and features posts about my everyday life, photos, my speaking schedule, information about my book and more.

Subscribe now to begin receiving updates!

Enjoy!

Quadrilateral tetra-amelia

2009-01-23T08:55:00.000-08:00

Last Sunday, January 18th, I had the pleasure of being featured in an article for The Montgomery Advertiser. The article nicely blends the stories of myself, my book, and Easter Seals Camp ASCCA. If you would like to read the article, click HERE for the link to the feature as well as an amendment to the feature.

There was also a statement in the article that has been questioned, and I felt a strong need to address it. The statement was that my disability, know as quadrilateral tetra-amelia, is a genetic disorder that leads to death of the infant in many cases. In describing my particular disability, this statement is false because my disability was NOT caused by a genetic disorder. The term, "tetra-amelia," simply means, "missing limbs." The term, "quadrilateral," simply refers to the number four. I was born with four missing limbs and that is why the only official term that can be used to describe my disability is Qudrilateral tetra-amelia.

As I stated in my book, "I Was Born This Way," my disability was caused by a medication that was given to my mother early in the pregnancy for nausea. That medication, Bendectin, caused many children to be born with missing limbs and has since been taken off the market. As explained in the book, my family did not seek legal recourse from the drug company. I feel certain that the medication is what caused my disability as well as the other individuals' because we all share the same physical features.

The reason it is so important for this information to be accurately understood is because people don't need to be needlessly frightened! While of course they are genetic disorders that can cause these types of disabilities, they are extremely rare. The good news is that what happened to me and my family cannot happen to you or yours. I just wanted to make certain everyone knew that!

www.AllisonWetherbee.com is HERE!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-18T08:11:00.000-08:00

AllisonWetherbee.com has everything you need to know about the book, "I Was Born This Way." You can see excerpts from the book as well as comments from readers. It also has the full color versions of the photographs seen in the book!

Here is a comment about the website by Teresa:

Allison,
I love your website!
It is beautifully done!
I reread some parts of your
book last night and was inspired again!

The website was fully designed by me! Even the icons for this Blog and my Email are scenes from Camp ASCCA that I photographed by myself using my phone camera! Pretty cool, huh?

So, check it out. Visit: www.allisonwetherbee.com

Or click HERE

I Was Born This Way is now AVAILABLE!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-05T11:16:00.000-08:00

Great news everyone! My book, I Was Born This Way, is now published!

Check out the back cover text:

Born with no arms or legs in December, 1970, Allison Wetherbee has faced challenges few could ever imagine. In the book, I Was Born This Way, her faith, courage and humor are shown as she tells the story of her life. The first part of this book describes her life defining moments including graduating from college with a master’s degree, and working as a mental health therapist. The second part of this book is full of devotions and stories of inspiration.

Allison currently enjoys her position as Public Relations Director at Easter Seals Camp ASCCA, and residing at the camp. She leads an active life with her friends and family. Allison also keeps a busy schedule with public speaking engagements. She has spoken for churches, college classes, businesses and civic clubs. She is available to give presentations for any interested group.

For contact information, please visit www.campascca.org.

The book is available through several outlets.

Amazon.com

Click HERE for the direct link.

Authorhouse.com

Click HERE for the direct link.

(Tip: Amazon costs $1.50 more due to distribution charges)

Also, for those who don't shop online, the book is available through many bookstores including Barnes and Noble. Contact your local store, request a copy, and they will order the book for you.

For those who have been checking in on a regular basis, thank you so much for your patience and continued interest! I truly appreciate it!

I sincerely hope you enjoy this book and receive a blessing from it as well.

Thank you so much,

Allison

Done

2007-06-29T12:53:00.000-07:00

An interviewer asked recently, "Which was most difficult, starting to college or starting your job?" First of all, this is a very good question and one that I had never been asked before. Thinking about my answer, I quickly took into account how often I held my breath with each of those situations and pressed forward through my fears. Like watching a scary movie when I was a kid, there were times when it felt like all I could do was close my eyes tight, take a deep breath, hold it, and wonder to myself, "Is it over yet?"

All that needs to be written has been written and all that needs telling has been told. It’s done. Fortunately for me, a burst of creativity hit this month! I wrote more than I needed or planned to, but that’s okay. It just leaves more to choose from and include. The book may also be a little longer than I expected. But that’s okay too! There are no rules, right?

Also, I’ve decided to change my once a month blogging rule. Since I have no idea how long it will take to get a publisher interested, there’s no need to give such frequent updates. When anything significant comes about, I will let you know.

Until then, keep your hands folded and your fingers crossed! I’ll need all of the well wishes I can get!

As always, thank you and take care.

*Italicized paragraphs indicate that the story is included in the book.

I Was Born This Way

2007-06-29T12:52:00.001-07:00

Target at Christmastime. Shoppers trying desperately to find that right gift for loved ones. Elderly men people-watching on the benches out front. Children's faces glowing at what must seem like never ending walls of toys. Lots of people complain about this time of year. The crowds and traffic appear overwhelming to them, I guess. Personally, I love it! Every year I can't wait for the opportunity to see the stores and houses lit up. I can't wait to see children brimming with anticipation and excitement. I can't wait to hear the music that celebrates the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Today at Target, I experienced something else I love about Christmas. When stores are overflowing with people, communication tends to take place between shoppers more than usual. You can't help but talk to your neighbor when you have been standing in line with them for ten minutes. My neighbor today was a little dark haired girl with big brown eyes. She was in her mother's shopping cart when she noticed me behind her. Much to her mother's dismay, she just could not stop staring. Given that I've now had thirty five years of handling this kind of situation, I felt perfectly comfortable striking up a conversation. She told me her name was Haley. After giving me her Santa's wish list, she asked quickly before running out of time at the register, "What happened to you?"
I answered, "I was born this way."
As with most children Haley's age, she looked puzzled. I'm sure her mother did her best to explain it to Haley on the way home.
On December 8 thirty five years ago, my parents were expecting to bring home the best Christmas gift ever to my older sister. They were expecting a healthy baby girl or boy. Back then, doctors didn't do the tests that seem so standard today. So, not only did my parents not know that I was going to be a girl, they also did not know that I was going to be born physically disabled. I was born with what is officially known as quadrilateral tetra-amelia. However, it's easier just to say I was born with no arms or legs. I can't use prosthetic limbs because I have no partial limbs to which they could attach. So, I use a power wheelchair for mobility that I steer with my shoulder. I write with a pen in my mouth and type with a stick.
Out of necessity and confusion, I began communicating with God at five years old. I accepted His Son as my Savior at thirteen. I have often said that if I ever write an autobiography, I will title it after the sentence I have spoken more than any other in my life, "I was born this way." Recently that sentence has come to take on a new meaning for me. I have come to realize that the Lord has blessed me with a resilience that is truly remarkable. I used to think that it was wrong, if not outright arrogant, to acknowledge my inner strength. I saw glimpses of it when healing from a broken heart or bouncing back from a disappointment. But I had never before allowed myself to affirm it. That is, not until I came to truly understand it's source.
Our ability to live our lives to the fullest no matter what our circumstances are is our gift from God. It doesn't come from us. The ability to find the joy in being in a crowd at Christmastime, the strength to make peace with past mistakes, and the love it takes to forgive ourselves and others all comes from our Lord. It is not ours to boast about, but it is ours to use. My Christmas wish is for everyone to see this for themselves as well. I believe that if we claim to know the Lord as our Savior, it is our responsibility to use and share every bit of joy, love and strength we can muster up each day. God knew I would need these attributes within myself to navigate this life that He has given me.
So, I am strong. I am resilient. I was born this way. And so were you.

WRITTEN CHRISTMAS 2005

Photos: Top - Taken 1971 & 1972
Bottom - Taken 2006

Progress

2007-05-31T08:03:00.000-07:00

I remember riding a large quarter horse that was deep reddish brown in color. His face was covered with a straight solid white blaze for which he was named. In reality, Blaze belonged to my Uncle Ed and Aunt Denise. He lived on forty acres of land that my family affectionately called The Place. My Dad or uncle would perch me in the saddle between their arms as Blaze took slow strides on lazy Sunday afternoons. But in my five-year-old imagination, Blaze was my wild stallion who was forever devoted to his Indian Princess owner. I whispered commands to take me places I had never seen and he obeyed. I my dreams, Blaze magically understood my need to feel free from the confines of my reality and he granted that wish every chance he got.

(A segment of a story called, "Magic")

At the beginning of this month, I told myself that I was going to complete this book by June. I gave myself one month! I decided that if I worked on it everyday, I might have a chance at accomplishing this goal. After all, it's just a matter of putting the stories of my life together.

So, every day I proceeded to fit the pieces of my life together. And like a puzzle, bit by bit, it fell into place. All things serious and funny were included along with every obstacle and milestone. For three weeks, every free moment I had was spent until one day, the story part of the book was finally finished.

So, as of right now, the first half of this book is complete. The second half, the devotionals and inspirational stories, is well underway. For those of you who are checking in regularly, I don't think you will be disappointed with the final product! You will see changes and additions to each story here, plus many new ones!

It's almost time to begin looking at publishers. Should I give myself one month or two to accomplish that goal? :)

Living Happily Ever After

2007-04-27T18:28:00.000-07:00

The people in our lives will fall short at times because no one belongs on a pedestal of perfection. We are all flawed human beings just trying to live happily ever after. I used to believe that the greatest three words in the English language were, “I love you.” But experience has taught me differently. It takes more than love for any relationship to survive all doubt. What will always keep us together is the promise of commitment. The five words that can make us walk through fire for each other are, “I will never leave you.” No matter what happens and no matter what we face, I will never leave you.

This is the end of a story I wrote a few months ago. It seemed appropriate to share this month because my family just had the pleasure of celebrating my sister's marriage! The wedding was at the end of last month and it was as beautiful as the bride. We were all honored to share in the happy couple's gorgeous day!

I have been very busy but unfortunately, not as busy as I need to be with writing. This coming month will hopefully be a calm one that will allow more time to stay focused.

So, until next month, I'm leaving you with "one liners" that I received in an email. My personal favorites are in bold print. Hope you enjoy.

See you next month!

*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't let your worries get the
best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some people are kind, polite, and
sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Many folks want to serve God,
but only as advisors.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
It is easier to preach ten sermons
than it is to live one.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
When you get to your wit's end,
you'll find God lives there.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
People are funny; they want the front
of the bus, the middle of the road, and
the back of the church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs on your front door forever.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Quit griping about your church;
if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If the church wants a better pastor,
it only needs to pray for the one it has.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Peace starts with a smile.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
I don't know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
A lot of church members who are singing
"Standing on the Promises"
are just sitting on the premises.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We were called to be witnesses,
not lawyers or judges.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Be ye fishers of men. You catch
them - He'll clean them.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Coincidence is when God
chooses to remain anonymous.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't put a question mark
where God put a period.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't wait for 6 strong men
to take you to church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God doesn't call the qualified,
He qualifies the called.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God loves everyone, but probably prefers
"fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God promises a safe landing,
not a calm passage.
*+! *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
He who angers you, controls you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Prayer:
Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We don't change the message,
the message changes us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
You can tell how big a person is
by what it takes to discourage him.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The best mathematical equation
I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 ! nails = 4 given.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*

Shoot For Excellence

2007-03-24T18:52:00.000-07:00

I got home from work early a few weeks ago and caught the last couple of minutes of “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” Oprah and her guest were discussing philosophies of life in typical Oprah fashion. Just before the show ended, I heard her mention a quote that has stayed in my mind ever since. Although I didn’t catch who she attributed it to, I did catch myself saying, “Wow!” out loud at its truthfulness.

“Mediocrity always attacks excellence.”

Have you ever noticed that when someone is at their best, it makes other people feel uncomfortable? Not only does it make them uncomfortable, it makes them want to attack what they don’t understand. I have found this to be true many times in life. At first glance, this quote may sound arrogant to some. They may say, “Who does anyone think they are to claim excellence?” The answer is: anyone who knows where excellence comes from.

Excellence is divine. It comes from a power much greater than your own. Excellence knows better than to get wrapped up in the temporary pettiness of this world. It has faith that God is in total control. Excellence rises above worry and conquers all fear. Excellence separates from mediocrity when it honestly believes that all things are possible through Christ. When anyone lives in excellence, it shows. It is evident when they stop wasting time on negativity, self-pity and putting others down. People who live in excellence know that time on this earth is limited and they choose to appreciate it. They have a daring spirit about them that comes from an assurance that when mediocrity attacks, they will not be defeated.

Hello Everyone,

This is just a short note to let you know things are going quite well. Writing is still taking precedence over all else concerning the book. However, let me say that I certainly appreciate any suggestions given in all areas of this process and I will definitely use them when the time comes.

So, thank you again for your continued support and I’ll see you again next month!

February Update

2007-02-25T12:47:00.000-08:00

I was told that our good news was to stay a secret for a while. Dana and I had rarely seen that kind of pure joy on our parents faces as they explained to us what to expect. We knew that this was a dream they had been trying to attain for years. By the time it came true, it was our dream as well. On the way to church one Sunday morning I remember my mother saying, "Now Allison, don't forget. We're not telling everyone just yet." The first person I saw was our preacher. I don't remember which of my parents was carrying me up the steps toward him. But I do remember holding my uncontainable happiness as long as my six-year-old body could. It took about ten seconds for me to loudly blurt out, "We're gonna have a baby!" All three members of my family giggled a simultaneous, "Shhhhh Allison!" But it was too late. I was more excited than I had ever been about anything in my life. I wanted the whole world to know that our baby was coming and I was going to be a big sister!

For the rest of this story, you will have to read the book!

For the last month, I have been making decisions. What format do I want this book to have? Should it be a series of short stories as this website has been? Or should it be a more traditional autobiography? Another consideration has been which area should I devote my attention. Taking into account that I have limited time to devote to anything, I have questioned whether to place primary focus on writing or on searching for a publisher. I have now answered these questions for myself. My intent is clear and I am making strides in what I believe is the right direction for me.

I decided to continue using short stories. It's the best way for me to convey the most important moments of my life. So, to fill in the chronological gaps in time, I have written three new stories. I have also started "cleaning up" the stories that are already written for this website. Many of them need more detail added as well as grammatical corrections. Doing this has basically filled my time which automatically took care of my other dilemma. I'm focused on writing now. The way I see it, I'm in no hurry. There's no need to be. God has given me several jobs to fulfill and I am doing my best with them. The rest is up to Him. And I fully trust that.

See you again in one month!

What Next?

2007-01-20T16:39:00.000-08:00

Last weekend, I flew unaccompanied for the first time. The last time I had been on an airplane was in 1985 when I flew to England. After watching the devastation of 9-11, I had told myself that I would never fly again. So, not only did I have a fear of flying but I never would have imagined that I would ever travel by plane alone. Just as in every new situation that I’ve ever faced, I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know how I would be cared for on the plane if needed. I didn’t know exactly who would be responsible for helping me collect my baggage or change planes in the Atlanta airport. Like many times before in my life, I had a million questions with no answers. All I had was faith and the strong encouragement of others that everything would be just fine. And all I knew for sure was that no matter what, I was going to Texas to visit my friend, Sam.

This is a small version of a familiar scenario that has played itself out so many times throughout my life. I have no problem starting something with just the goal in mind. I always know where I want to end up but I won’t have a clue how I’m going to get there or who will help me along the way. Frightened and nervous, I take that first step anyway. With a deep breath, in the face of small or large milestones, I have heard myself saying,
“I will go to Highschool without an assistant with me.”
“I will go to college.”
“I will hold a job and have a home of my own.”
“I will get on that plane!”

This year, I plan to begin work on a new goal: writing a book and getting it published. This will absorb a lot of my free time. So, unfortunately I will not be able to keep up a weekly addition on this blog as I did before Christmas. Instead I have decided to post monthly updates on the progress being made toward the book. So, please keep checking in every month and rest assured that this year’s goal will be reached. Just as in the past, I don’t know how or when. But I do know that it will happen.

As for my trip to Texas, I am pleased to say that everything went as smoothly as I hoped it would. I landed in Dallas in the middle of an ice storm and had the time of my life for four days. My friend Sam, arranged for me to visit the inside of a world that rarely gets seen by “outsiders.” He took me to a nuclear power plant where he is currently working on a Steam Generator Replacement Project. What made the strongest impression was the amount of time and effort Sam and others spent on making that day and the whole weekend special just for me. Throughout the weekend, with total amazement on his face, Sam kept looking at me saying, “We’re in Texas.” Each time I laughed and nodded in agreement at just how unpredictable this life can be. You just never know what’s going to happen next which is exactly what can make our little lives so much fun!

Stay tuned!

Photos: Taken Januuary 2007

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T16:24:00.000-08:00

Two years ago, my New Year's resolution was to stop smoking. For those of you who are disappointed to discover that I ever smoked, I apologize. However, you can take comfort in the knowledge that the habit which I took up as a teenager, ended on December 30, 2004. Last year, my resolution was to stop using cuss words. Unfortunately, I am still working on that one! There are a few words I have all but abandoned but others still slip out.

I am telling these facts about myself in an attempt to begin this year's resolution on the right track. What I have decided to do in 2007 is not something I have to give up, lose or go without. It is more of an attitude than anything else. It is an attitude that comes from a desire to live up to what God wants for me and from me. Anything else is a total waste of time. He does not want me to worry over what others think of me nor does He want me to shrink in fear over all that could go wrong. God wants me to trust Him in everything that I do.

God also does not want me to pretend to be something I'm not in an effort to please others. Instead, He wants me to be real. He can't use me if I waste time trying to be anything other than that. The Bible assures us that God made each of us with specific purposes in mind. If we live our lives afraid of failure or of being misunderstood, we will surely fall short of His desire for us. I, for one, plan to do all I can to not let God down. He knows my flaws and He loves me anyway. I have nothing to fear except the awesomeness of God, who tells me through His Son, to not be afraid. So for 2007, I resolve to live life with no fear and trust that He will take me farther than even I can imagine.

Happy New Year everyone!

ANYWAY

by

Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, People may Accuse you of Selfish, Ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be Honest and Frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,
and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you've got anyway.

Because in the final analysis,
it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

Merry Christmas

2006-12-13T18:32:00.000-08:00

Matthew 1:18 (NLT)

18 This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit.

There are those who do not believe this story. There are some who say that it is impossible. We live in a world where seemingly insurmountable obstacles are overcome every day. And yet some still do not believe that God could bring His Son into this world through a virgin named Mary. There are many other Biblical truths that are not believed as well. But this one is where salvation lies. It is the most important of all.

When I hear scholars trying to deny this story, it doesn't make me angry. What I really feel instead of anger, is fear. It scares me that anyone would doubt the basic foundation of how our Savior was born. I feel scared for those who doubt, of course. But mostly, I fear for the ones who listen to these so called experts and buy what they teach.

Praise God for this time of the year when the whole world can join together in celebrating the birth of Christ as the Bible teaches it. Everywhere you look, believers and non-believers alike, are surrounded by the scenes and music that honor Jesus. It is the one time of year when it is truly difficult to hide from Him! He is visible everywhere. Even retail stores are beginning to go back to using His name rather than greeting their costumers with Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas has returned by popular demand. There is even a movie out in theaters called, "The Nativity Story." It is Biblically accurate and brings those who lived this story two thousand years ago, to life. I strongly encourage seeing it if you have not already.

Questioning the Bible is dangerous business because it is ultimately questioning God. The Bible was written by God's breath. It is unchanging. There are many people who place a modern day slant on what they wish the Bible says. But in the end, the Truth will be known to all. Jesus is the Truth. What we know of Him as we are taught from the Bible, is the Truth.

As I celebrate the birth of the King over the next couple of weeks, I pray that you will do the same. May we all keep Christmas focused on Jesus. May we all continue to mature in Him with His Holy Spirit in our hearts and His name on our lips.
Blessings to you all.
Merry Christmas!

Luke 2:8-14 (KJV)

8And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. 9And, lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. 10And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. 12And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying,
14Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.

Why Me?

2006-12-07T16:37:00.000-08:00

Why me?

Why did my parents go out of their way to make sure I had all I needed?

Why have I been blessed with good health all of my life?

Why has everyone in my family, when faced with any serious illness, always recovered?

Why was I the luckiest girl in the world when my Daddy bought me a horse for Christmas when I was ten years old?

Why was I introduced to a camp for the disabled that would bring an immeasurable amount of joy to my life?

Why has there always been someone, or the memory of someone, to see me through every trial I have had to face?

Why have I had so much love in my life?

Why did Jesus love me enough to die for me?

Each one of these questions reflect the facts of my life and each one of them are undeserved. I can't answer why these good things happened to me any more than I can answer why the bad things happened. I didn't deserve the bad, but I certainly haven't deserved all of the good either. What I do know is that when I center my attention on all that I have been given, I find new meaning in the question, "Why me?"

Furthermore, when I do look at the difficulties in my life, I tend to think, "Why not me?" Everyone faces some type of hardship. No one gets through this life without obtaining a few bruises and scars along the way. There are so many people out there who endure trials that are so much worse than mine. Why shouldn't I accept what God has laid before me? Someone had to breathe the breath that God gave to me the day I was born. Why not me?

When things go wrong, how often do you catch yourself asking, "Why me, Lord?" Be mindful that this question isn't always that direct. It can also come in the form of complaining or comparing your lot in life to others. The next time you are tempted to fall into the trap of self-pity, try writing down a list of your own. Give an honest assessment of all that has been given to you and then ask the Lord, "Why?" You will be amazed at how quickly that list will become longer than you would have ever expected. You will be in awe at how this simple practice can change you from the inside out.

Remember George Bailey

2006-12-06T18:22:00.000-08:00

Christmas does not feel like Christmas without the classic movie, "It's A Wonderful Life." Like most people, I saw it every Christmas on TV throughout my childhood and skipped over it every time. It's a long, black and white film that just didn't seem worth my time to watch when I was young. Now, I wish I had. One year while home from college for the holidays, I gave in out of sheer boredom. Not expecting much, I was amazed by the lessons I learned through this simple movie.

George Bailey, the main character, dreamed big. He had elaborate plans of travel and wealth. He wanted to see the world and his optimism appeared to be all he needed to make it happen. But through a series of unplanned events, every one of his dreams were dashed. None of his plans happened the way he had hoped. Even worse, despite always being a person of integrity, he ended up in the middle of unfair circumstances that would lead to his arrest. Desperate and hopeless, he found himself standing on a snow covered bridge looking down at the freezing water below.

Have you ever been there? Have you ever felt as if you were standing on the bridge between living and dying, unsure of which direction to take? Have you ever thought, as George Bailey did, that the world would be a better place if you had never been born? The truth is, most of us have experienced these things. Either openly or privately, most of us have reached a point in our lives when we have questioned our own existence. We feel the unfairness of life in the darkest corners of our souls and cry out to God, "Why is this happening to me?" When someone looses this battle of hopelessness, we are left with a million unanswered questions. I don't pretend to understand it myself. I only know that God is there and He holds the answers. Even when His presence cannot be felt, we can still be assured that God is there.

In "It's A Wonderful Life," God showed up in the form of an angel named Clarence. George Bailey was given the gift of seeing what the world would be like had he never been born. Clarence offered this as a way of helping George realize that while he lived a life that seemed unfulfilled, he was changing the lives of others. His surroundings and everyone he knew were somehow altered in the world where George never existed. When he saw that his life had been meaningful in ways that he had never imagined, he ran through his home town shouting with delight, "Merry Christmas everybody!"

The point of this film is that sometimes we never know whose lives we are touching just by being here. We are part of a great plan engineered by God and we have a purpose. We may never know just how significant the slightest action may be in the life of someone who needs encouragement. Every now and then, we may receive the blessing of someone telling us that we made a difference to them. We are equally blessed by offering thanks to those who have touched our lives. Great sacrifices for another's sake are easily noticed and recognized by those who benefit from them. But most of the time, the moments that keep us holding on when we feel like giving up are the simple ones. The little moments that are filled with genuine concern and love can literally last a lifetime and beyond. Those sweet memories live in our hearts forever. When we pass the kindness that we have been given to another soul, we could easily be touching generations not yet born.

In real life, we don't get to see how all of our actions affect others. But for better or worse, we must trust that they do and accept the responsibility that goes with it. Remembering the story of George Bailey is something we need to do year round, not just during Christmas. After I discovered the movie "It's A Wonderful Life," it quickly became one of my favorites. I keep a sign with it's title hanging above my kitchen sink as a reminder that there are secrets attached to my life that only God knows and will reveal in His own time. I don't need to know all of the purposes He has set aside for me. Total understanding is not required. God knows what He is doing! I only need to know that as long as I am following Him, I will fulfill my purpose. To me, fully trusting that is what makes this a beautifully wonderful life.

Family

2006-12-02T19:49:00.000-08:00

The tradition of Christmas and family go hand in hand and they can't be separated. This time of year, we are constantly reminded that Christmas is a time to spend with family. Songs, television shows, and even commercials are filled with scenes of people going home for the holidays. My heart always goes out to those who may not have a place to go for Christmas. I also remember our soldiers fighting overseas who cannot come home yet. It is a vivid reminder of how fortunate those of us who will visit our families this Christmas, really are.

Family is how we started this life. It's our beginning. Our sense of self is born out of our family. As we grow older, we can alter our self image if needed. But to make those changes, we generally have to go back to where it all began. Some of us are truly blessed to have been given a foundation of love. When our foundation is solid, no matter what happens later in life, we can face it a little easier. If we can remember how it felt to be loved by the first people we saw in this world, we can consider that to be God's first gift to us.

The word "family" appears in the Bible almost 500 times. These scriptures provide direction for families as well as the Christian definition of family. In Matthew, we learn that even Jesus had difficulty with some criticizing members of His family. He gave the word "family" a new meaning by saying that anyone who does the will of His Father in Heaven is His family. We are also told that as Christians, we are adopted into God's own family. We are His children and we are instructed to care for each other as a family bound for Heaven. There are those who have lost or never had an earthly family to speak of. But no one within the family of God is without a Father. Our Father lives within us and surrounds us everywhere we go. As the children of God, our earthly family expands to include all of our brothers and sisters in Christ.

For those who are richly blessed to have been born into a loving family, Christmas is a time to give heartfelt thanks. It is also a time to realize that our family consists of all adopted children of God. The most fortunate among us are those who share their lives with both. The family that we are born into and our adopted family are both God given gifts. He hand picked those who raised us and those who have crossed our paths. This Christmas, I pray that we will remember the true meaning of family, as given to us by our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Matthew 13:57
And they were deeply offended and refused to believe in him.Then Jesus told them, "A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own home town and among his own family."

Matthew 12:46-50
46 As Jesus was speaking to the crowd, his mother and brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. 47 Someone told Jesus, "Your mother and your brothers are outside, and they want to speak to you."

48 Jesus asked, "Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?" 49 Then he pointed to his disciples and said, "Look, these are my mother and brothers. 50 Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!"

Ephesians 1:5
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.

(New Living Translation)

Becoming Whole

2006-12-01T16:20:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite Christmas stories from childhood was "The Velveteen Rabbit." It is the story of a toy rabbit given to a little boy for Christmas. The rabbit longs to become "Real." At the beginning of the story, he doesn't even know what Real is. As time goes on, he learns the definition of Real from a fellow toy and discovers that to become Real, he must be loved. Ultimately, through loving and receiving love from the little boy, the velveteen rabbit's dream comes true. He becomes Real.

As a child, this story spoke straight to my heart. So often, I felt trapped in a body that could not do all I wanted it to do. At times, I felt incomplete, misunderstood and out of place. Even as a young child, I knew that when people saw me for the first time, they only saw my physical appearance. They saw my disability and felt pity for me. I remember one time, a woman at Disney World burst into tears at the mere sight of me. The fact that I was a "normal" little girl who happened to be inside of a body with no limbs, was not immediately realized by most people. Like the toy rabbit in the story, I longed to be seen as just me. I wanted people to see and love my spirit behind my physical disability.

Occasionally, that very thing would happen. I did have the honor of meeting people who instantly saw me for who I really was. For me, this was love in the purest form. I knew my family did not pity me. So whenever someone, apart from my family, looked at me without pity and instead loved me for what was in my heart, I felt complete. I thrived whenever I felt safe to give and receive love. I related to the toy in "The Velveteen Rabbit" because in those moments when I was truly loved and accepted, I became Whole.

Excerpt from:
THE VELVETEEN RABBIT
or, HOW TOYS BECOME REAL
written by Margery Williams

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

Photo: Taken Christmas 1972

When Things Go Right

2006-11-30T17:45:00.000-08:00

Something amazing happened to me this year. For the most part, things went right! That's not to say that there weren't bumps in the road because there were. This year however, the bumps didn't seem as threatening as in previous years. I was able to ride over them with a smaller amount of chaos and they smoothed themselves out before causing too much damage. Of coarse, what I consider to be "right" and what God knows is best for me, is not always compatible. But this year, the two longings of my wishes and God's will, seemed to have melted together perfectly. Simply put, if I am fortunate enough to see 2007, I am grateful that it will find me happy and content. Through this good year, I have learned something that I never expected.

When times are tough, my dependence on the Lord is evident. The moment something happens that brings grief into my life or the lives of my loved ones, I pray. Praying is my first instinctive reaction. I have seen the power of prayer confirmed many times. In fact, I am convinced I would not still be living if it were not for the prayers of my parents, family and friends throughout my life. My life has not been a sheltered one and I have been in situations that could have easily ended in disaster. But prayer saved me. Now, more than ever, I lean on the strength that communicating with God provides. When times are hard, I know what to do. It's with times of fulfillment that I lack great experience. In contentment, I have found an unexpected lesson.

It is so easy to take blessings for granted on sunny days. When I am surrounded with gifts of joy, I relax and my guard goes down. The guard that I am speaking of is not one that keeps goodness and love at a distance. The guard that drops when I am at ease is the one that reminds me of my continual dependence on God. When I am troubled, I automatically turn to Him.The moment something good happens I say, "Thank you." It is when God allows my happiness to be sustained that I tend to forget the importance of seeking His guidance. When the spirit-filled guard drops, idleness creeps in. Prayers that were once full of passion can turn dormant and too much joyful busyness can lead to spiritual weakness.

When things are going good, my need for God does not diminish. This lesson that God gave me this year, should be an obvious one. But unfortunately, it is common to overlook the need for God's guidance when all is going well. Even when we are already on the right path, He continues to lead us. If we do not continually seek His direction, we can easily get off track. Likewise, if we continue to eagerly follow Him, our blessings which are already abundant will be overflowing. This year, I have learned to keep my eyes on the Lord at all times. Even when I feel like I am on top of the world, only God can make me fly!

Photo: Taken 2006

The Hill Of Life

2006-11-28T05:27:00.000-08:00

Recently I was told about a conversation between a father and his daughter. They were talking about her new boyfriend. The father asked if the boyfriend would be able to climb the hill. His daughter asked, "What hill?" He said, "The hill of life. He's got to be able to climb it because it's uphill all the way." When we look back on our lives, we can see that the father's last statement is true. There are times when we struggle more than others. There are times when we reach a peak and can catch our breath. But we are all climbing in the same direction - uphill.

Thanksgiving Prayers

2006-11-20T18:24:00.000-08:00

Below are prayers copied from my journals.
May God keep and bless you throughout this Thanksgiving week.

February 1, 2006

Dear God,
I asked for love and You gave it freely. You gave it through Your Son, my Savior, Jesus. You gave it through family and friendships; loyal, tender and true. I asked for comfort and safety and You revealed it through the Holy Spirit and through others. Even though the answers to my prayers don't come in the form I had imagined, hoped or wished for, they still come. The answers come with a strength and bravery I had not forseen.

It is overwhelming to me that I can request one thing thinking that it is the fulfillment of my dreams; and what You give instead is the answer to dreams not yet dreamed and wishes not yet wished. Dreams that I am too afraid to dream, You make true. Secret wishes that are undiscovered, You make known.

Thank you Lord for revealing hopes I didn't even know I had and love that I didn't know was possible. Thank you for providing constant reminders that I am loved by You because I am Your child. Thank you for making me feel special through being loved by Your children. I love them because You have shown me how.

In Your Holy Name I Pray,
Amen

October 21, 2006

Dear Lord,
Thank you for leading and guiding me throughout the days of my life. Thank you for the friends and family you have blessed me to have in my life. Help me to always remember that it is all Your's Lord. Nothing I have belongs to me. It is all Your's that You have, in your gracious generosity, entrusted me to keep for You. I will take care of everything and everyone you have sent my way. I will care for it all until it is all returned to You.

In your Holy and Precious Name, I thank you.

We all say,
Amen

For Me, Only Kindness Matters

2006-11-20T16:35:00.000-08:00

Ironically, one of my favorite songs is "Hands" by Jewel. I love it so because it states my basic belief that we all have something to offer this world. No matter who we are or where we come from, we all have a certain quality that make us exceptional. God gives us that something and it is up to us to discover what that is and how to use it. It may be the ability to be a leader, a teacher, a caretaker or an artist. It could be any number of things or a combination of many. Our God given talents make us as unique as our DNA. No matter what our circumstances are, it is our responsibility to use what He gave us as only we can.

Too often we spend so much time trying to figure out what God wants us to do with our lives, that we forget that the answer is probably pretty simple. I have been bogged down many with fretting over what God's will is for me. With each new avenue in life I would ask, "Is this it Lord? Is this the direction you want me to take?" Usually, after some time had passed, I would find myself becoming frustrated and impatient because there seemed to be no clear answer. Eventually, out of discouragement, I would change coarse and start heading down an entirely different road. Finally, after going through years of confusion over my purpose, I have come to three conclusions.

I remember thinking to myself many times, "I wish God could just send an unquestionable sign or letter telling me what He wants." Now, I understand that the letter I was searching for was on my bedside table the whole time. It's called the Bible! In the Bible, I find the answers to my every question. I learn what God asks of me and what He expects of me. There is no guess work when I use the Bible as a map for my daily living. It is where I found my second conclusion regarding purpose.

Throughout the Bible, we are told that God gives us the knowledge of what is right and what is wrong. We know it when we are on the wrong path. Unfortunately, I have had a tendency to fly down wrong roads so fast, I slam into brick walls before making time to be honest with myself about it. However, when I am still, quiet and at peace with God, I find within my heart what is right for me. I find that something that makes me feel passionate about life. When I am fulfilling my purpose, I feel "in sync" with God. It just feels right. The final conclusion is what I have discovered about my own purpose.

Sadly, in our cynical world, this may sound trite. But fortunately, I don't care how it sounds! What feels right to me is when I am able to express God's love. Throughout my life, God has shown His love for me in countless ways. Whenever I am able to give that love back to someone, whether it is through a phone call, a visit, a web site or an email, I feel as though I am doing my job. Right now, I am learning to accept that I don't know where that purpose will lead me and that I don't need to know. All I need is to understand that no matter how small I feel at times, I am serving God's purpose for me anytime I give love and concern to someone else.

From the song "Hands," my favorite lyrics are:

I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I gather myself around my faith
That lights the darkness most fear

My hands are small I know
But they're not yours
They are my own
And I am never broken

In the end
Only kindness matters

*Lyrics by Jewel

A Happy Camper (Part Two)

2006-11-19T20:00:00.000-08:00

I was very quiet during the drive home from Camp ASCCA that first summer. There was so much that I wanted to tell my parents I didn't know where to begin. I missed Donette, my first counselor, and the friends I had made. No matter how I tried, my seven year old language just couldn't seem to convey to anyone how much that place had touched me. For one thing, it was the first time I had ever experienced being around a lot people and realizing that no one was staring at me. It was the first time I had become friends with other children with disabilities just as severe, if not more, than mine. I felt complete, understood and at ease there. Even though I had no words to express my feelings, I realized that very first summer that my experiences at camp were going to be very private. I knew I was going back! I had made promises to my new friends that I would. But I also knew that my home life and my time at camp were going to be two separate realities for me. And that no matter how much I wanted to, I would not be able to merge them.

Photo: Taken 1988

A Happy Camper (Part One)

2006-11-16T18:24:00.000-08:00

According to my Mom, I came home from school one day exclaiming, "I want to go to Girl Scout camp!" I was in the second grade and I had the information about the camp stuffed in my back pack. I was ready to go! In 1978, unfortunately things regarding the disabled were not as they are now. The Girl Scout camp I wanted to attend would not accept me without having full-time parental supervision. But, in the long run, that did not matter. God had better plans in mind.

Photo: Taken 1978

Thank God For Change

2006-11-15T18:25:00.000-08:00

Over two years ago, I began a major life change. This change would typically be described as a re-dedication. That phrase is used so often that sometimes it's easy to forget there is action behind the words. With the Lord's guidance, I made conscious decisions to live differently. I made Bible reading and praying a part of my daily routine. I began attending church and was baptized. Much to my amazement, I began to change. My interests changed. My motivation behind decisions changed. I no longer looked at my life with the what's in it for me mentality. Instead, my life became His. With God's help, I realized it was never mine from the start. It all begins and ends with Him.

It wasn't that I was not a Christian prior to this time. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Jesus was my Savior. I had accepted my need for His forgiveness at thirteen years old. As an adult, I had simply become one of those people who wanted to do it my way. I had powered my way through all of the challenges I had faced. God had made me fiercely independent and strong because He knew I would need to be. I had simply minimized my need for Him. It was just a matter of time before He reminded me. God has His ways of getting our attention when the time comes. When we get too far away, He will allow something to stop us from going any further. I was stopped dead in my tracks through a series of heart breaks, poor decisions and betrayal. When I was going through these trials, I could actually feel God pulling at me. The road I was on was far too painful to travel forever. He wanted me to turn around and go the other way.

That was two years ago. Today, the life I live is totally different. I can see the differences both inside and out. The way I choose to spend my past time has changed dramatically. My nights used to revolve around the television! Now, I'm doing good to squeeze in some down time TV. One of the greatest blessings that I have received in the last two years is the web site. I pray daily that it will be used for the Lord's glory and purposes. I pray that not only does it touch people's hearts but that it also brings them closer to God. I have a burning desire for my life to stand as a witness for the love He feels for us all.

The way I think has changed as well. Things that were once important to me are not even thought about any more. God has brought new friends into my life and has brought a few old ones back. Everything has changed. It has been a process though. He is not only working in my life. He is working on me. Each night as I read the Bible, I learn something new. The longer I practice prayer time, the more natural it has become. Sometimes I catch myself becoming frustrated by the process. I see the progress I have made and I want nothing more than to keep going forward. However, God sees things differently. The Bible tells us that we are to expect set backs. For me, I believe God uses bad days as a test. Will I depend upon my own strength or His? I pray that He continues to give me the strength to fall and land in the safety of the Lord's arms.

Photo: Taken 2006

Best Days Ahead

2006-11-14T18:42:00.000-08:00

"I don't want CNN to come to my high school graduation!" This is a sentence I never thought I would hear myself utter. But I said it to my Mom sitting in our kitchen the night before I graduated from high school. Apparently, my Dad had called the CNN offices in Atlanta and asked if they would be interested in covering the graduation ceremony. Much to my surprise, CNN agreed to come. The reason I balked at this idea was simple. I don't mean to boast, but most of my childhood had been well documented in newspapers and television. By the time I was eighteen years old, I was a veteran at dealing with the media. I appreciated my Dad's enthusiasm. However, getting through high school was such an ordeal that I simply wanted the milestone of graduation to remain private.

Photos: Taken Graduation Night 1989

Gratitude

2006-11-09T19:13:00.000-08:00

Keeping a gratitude journal is one of the best things you could ever do for yourself. It gives you an opportunity to sit back and recall everything that you have been given. You list all of the beauty, simple pleasures and experiences that you are thankful for.You can write these blessings down on a daily or weekly basis. When possible, I choose to do it daily. It's not a time consuming practice. All it takes is a willingness to notice what typically goes unseen.

Unfortunately, we are all guilty of taking our blessings for granted. At times, we all get complacent with what we have. It is usually not until we lose what we have that we realize just how much it meant to us. If you lost your sight today, how much would you long to see another sunset or a loved one's face again? I don't know what it is like to be able to walk or shake someone's hand. I have never known those things. So, I cannot miss what I never had. Therefore, I consider myself fortunate that I have had a lifetime to adapt to my circumstances. However, even in the face of my disability, I still catch myself taking my abilities for granted. For the last week, I have been troubled with sore shoulders due to spending so much time on the computer. Today, I realize how grateful I am to be able to type with my mouth! In the most unlikely situations, you can still find something to be thankful for.

With Thanksgiving coming in two weeks, it is the perfect time to learn the importance of expressing gratitude. It is not possible to get it "right" all of the time. But when you make an effort to focus on your blessings it changes your outlook, behavior, and way of thinking. It changes you. When your mind is centered around what you have rather than what you lack, you find that you have more than you ever imagined. More importantly, you realize that you don't lack as much as you once thought. The person who sees the glass as half full is the same person who is grateful for what is in it!

The Prom

2006-11-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

I was never the silly girl who talked on the phone for hours while giggling. Instead, I thank God that I was more of a tom-boy throughout my teenage years. I liked wearing make up. But spending hours letting my Mom curl or perm my hair was the last thing on earth I wanted to do. The reason that I thank the Lord for my tom-boy attitude in high school is because it saved me from being disappointed! I didn't care that much if I didn't get asked out on dates. I had no interest in being seen as the prettiest girl in school. I was popular in my class. They always voted for me to hold a class officer seat. But being popular in school was never really all that important to me. As a teenager, my interests were music, writing in my journals and looking forward to seeing friends that I had made at Camp ASCCA each year.

Photo: Taken Prom Night 1988

What If

2006-11-03T18:23:00.000-08:00

What would I do if I had arms? This is a question that I ask myself every time I see advances that are being made with prosthetic limbs. They are not yet to the point of being able to fit me with artificial arms, but I can easily see that happening in the years to come. So, that hope naturally leads me to thoughts of how things would be different. How much of me is defined by my disability? Would having limbs change me? Would I even want that change now that I have learned to adapt so well in the body God gave me?

Photo: Taken 2003

All Or Nothing

2006-10-30T11:24:00.000-08:00

My life is full of extremes. I have always lived with an all-or-nothing mentality. In my world, there are no half-ways. There is no in-between. For me, it is sink or swim. This attitude was adopted out of necessity. I don't feel as if I had much choice in the matter. I was born into a life that demands my full effort. When I do not give all I have to something, I am not successful with it. There are no easy outs or short cuts in my life. With any job that I have ever been given, I have never known prior to starting exactly how I would be able to do the required tasks. My answer to this problem has always been to jump without a parachute and learn how to fly!

Photo: Taken 1994

A Thank You Note

2006-10-26T12:15:00.000-07:00

The first post on this site was made on August 27th. As of right this minute, we have had 641 visitors. That number would actually be a little higher in reality because the site meter was not added right away. The response to this blog has been phenomenal. So, I wanted to take the time to thank those of you who are visiting. I had no idea who, if anyone, would want to read my thoughts and stories. It has been a truly humbling experience to hear from those of you who do.

One of my hopes when starting this blog was to generate an interest in my writing. It is my dream to someday have my story published. This wish is beginning to feel as if it could become a reality. Thanks to those of you who visit regularly and the building interest in this site, I am encouraged to continue pursuing this dream. My request is that you continue supporting this site by making others aware of it. The more visitors we have dropping by, the better chance we may have in stimulating interest from publishers.

I purposefully refer to this site using the pronouns "we" and "ours" rather than "my" and "mine." I learned a very long time ago that I can do nothing alone. Despite my relentless independent-minded willfulness, I am aware that everything I do comes with the support of others. God has blessed me with amazing friends and family. Everything I do is because of them and the One who gave them to me. I do my best to always remember that. I also try to never miss an opportunity like this to offer a sincere, Thank You!

Photo: Taken 2006

Angels Are Watching

2006-10-26T07:49:00.000-07:00

A co-worker asked me yesterday if I believe in angels. Without blinking my answer was "Absolutely!" My mother has always told me that she believed that I had a guardian angel with me at all times. Whenever I would tell her about a close call I had, such as almost falling out of my chair at school, her response was always the same. She would say, "That's your guardian angel. He's protecting you." As a child, I thought she was just saying those things for comfort's sake. As an adult, I believe with all of my heart that there is a supernatural spirit watching over me. My guardian angel has never let me down.

My Last Pity Party

2006-10-18T17:11:00.000-07:00

There is a motto that I see every morning as I enter my kitchen. It is written on a sign that was one of the first purchases I made for my new home eight years ago. Recently, a friend of mine who was visiting, pointed to this sign every time my voice reflected a certain tone. My own sign, which displays the motto "NO WHINING," was used against me! I acted aggravated and amused. But secretly I wished that my sign had an automatic sensor. It would be nice if it could sound an alarm anytime I come close to displaying the most annoying behavior in the world - whining.

.

Photos: Top - Taken 1991
Bottom - Taken 1992

Memories Of England

2006-10-16T18:32:00.000-07:00

At a bus stop in England, I said goodbye to a handful of beautiful personalities who had come into my life briefly, but would live in my memory forever. We were all on our way to catch our plane rides back home. The first to say goodbye were David and Raymond, who were two young men from Boston. David was one of the United States disabled recipients chosen by Rotary International to attend a two week long, all expense paid trip to England. I was the other. Raymond came along as David's cousin and helper. It was a breezy July in 1985 and I was a rambunctious fourteen year old. I had already been through so much in the previous years that sixteen year old Raymond told me one night, while sitting in the middle of an English rose garden, that I had an old soul.

Photos: Taken in England 1985

Small Things With Great Love

2006-10-12T17:03:00.000-07:00

"We can do no great things; only small things with great love." Mother Teresa

This is one of my all time favorite quotes. It is written on a tapestry that has hung on a wall in my office for years. I like it because it reminds me of what to strive for each day. I may not hit the mark every day. But I do give it my best shot.

Luckily, God did not put any of us here to fix all of the world's problems. Is it not our job to set all wrongs right or to heal all wounds. Only God can do that. However, He has given the soldiers in Christ's army a way of attack when going up against injustices. I believe that in fighting the darkness that we see every day, we are to use the one weapon that is more powerful than all others. God gave us His love. It may not be common to view love as a weapon. But if you have ever faced the demons of anger, isolation or hurt you know that it can feel like a fight. And if you have ever won any of those battles, they were most likely won with the powerful weapon of love. Only love can defeat all darkness.

He Loves You, Sweetheart

2006-10-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

In the summer 1984, I could not sit up in my chair for longer than a couple of hours. I had spent the better part of two months flat on my back on our den sofa. I was stiff with physical pain and boredom. But I also had a mission that kept my thirteen year old mind occupied and focused. My mission was to reach a level of recovery from back surgery that would allow me to attend summer camp. The surgery took place in late April and I wanted to be at Camp ASCCA by June. I had promised worried friends that I would be there and nothing was going to stop me. For the first time in a couple of years, I knew in my soul that God had intended for me to live. I knew that my being born had not been a mistake. And I wanted nothing more in life that summer than to be reminded of how it felt to be free.

Photos: Top: Lake Martin
Bottom: Taken at Camp ASCCA 1984

Dance With Me In Heaven

2006-10-04T17:43:00.000-07:00

The promise of continued life is God's gift to us through the grace of forgiveness. Our gift to God is our worship, praise, obedience and thanksgiving. We are eternally grateful because we have been forgiven through the sacrifice of Jesus. As believers in the Son of God, we will forever live in a paradise that exceeds all imagination. The Bible provides a blueprint of sorts as to what to expect in heaven. We are told of mansions and streets of gold.

Photo: Taken 1974

Be Strong

2006-09-29T16:36:00.000-07:00

Just a few years ago, my reaction to all problems was quite different than it is now. Back then, when facing trouble, my answer was to try to "out tough" the problem itself. I would do my very best to suck it up, bite my lip and work my way through it. This was done, of coarse, in a desperate attempt to bypass any discomfort. After all, who wants to hurt? I didn't. So, I hid from and fought whatever pain came my way. The only problem with this method of coping was that I was not really dealing with anything. I would recieve countless compliments and praise over how strong I was being. But the truth was, I wasn't strong at all. That facade of strength was simply a cover for scared little girl who felt alone.

My idea of strength has changed tremendously over the last few years. The best solution I have found when facing trouble is now the first thing I do. I pray. The moment trouble arises, I give it to God. I also seek out others who I know will be prayer warriors on my behalf. Accepting and asking for support is no longer seen as a weakness in my mind. I cry if I need to and I allow my trusted friends to hold me close to their hearts. Being strong is no longer something that has to be done alone.

The theme song of my life about two months ago was "So, You Had A Bad Day." The tears poured over a situation that seemed to have no resolution. When confiding in friends, I could hear the fear in my own voice. I played that song on my computer throughout those few days of turmoil to remind myself that it really was just a bad day. It wasn't any more or any less than that. I knew that I could cry without drowning self-pity. I knew that I could face the problem and my fear with equal determination. I knew that the source of my strength was God. And for a few moments during those difficult days, I had a blast singing about bad days that I had faith would pass.

Photo: Taken 2006

Misunderstandings

2006-09-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

There are two questions that I am asked often.
Number one, what is the most bizarre thing someone has said to you?
And number two, what are the biggest misconceptions or misunderstandings about your disability?
The answer to the first question has stood the test of time. It occurred when I was eleven years old and it has been ingrained in my memory ever since.
I had just been named the Alabama Easter Seals child of 1982. Because of that, I had been asked to do several interviews for local and statewide newspapers and television programs. One afternoon during that year, I was scheduled to appear on a noon time talk show at a local news station.

Photo: Top - Easter Seals Child publicity photo 1982
Bottom - Newspaper Article Featuring My Employment 2000

Funny Things

2006-09-23T19:36:00.000-07:00

There is a strange phenomenon that has happened in my life many times over. And thankfully, I have always seen the humor in it even as a child. The first time I remember this odd thing happening, I was sitting at a busy lunch table at summer camp. It was noisy, people were busy fixing their plates and from somewhere at the other end of the table I heard someone ask, "Will you please pass the ketchup?" I, of coarse, continued to sit there looking around never once considering that they were speaking to me. That is, until I heard the frustrated voice saying, "Allison, hand me the ketchup please." Photo: Taken 1995

The Master Potter

2006-09-19T18:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it feels almost impossible to believe that God has a plan for everyone. Nothing happens by accident. The concept that everything under the sun happens for a reason may be too much for our mortal minds to fully accept. But the truth is, it is not a mere concept. It is a reality. So many times I have heard people ask, "Why does God allow suffering?" I had an email sent to me recently by someone who was struggling with this issue. My reply was, "I personally found my answer in John 9:3 (NLT) that says: "It is not because of his sins or his parent's sins. He was born blind so that the power of God can be seen in him." That is why I was born the way I am. The way I see it, that is why we all face our own hardships. It is not because God is punishing us. The truth is that our strength, hope, love, joy and everything good comes from God. When we face hardships, He gives us the power and the will to survive. And in return, we give all of the glory to Him. Thus, His power is seen through us. Make sense?"
An old friend of mine called me last night. Every time I hear his voice I am reminded of past times, lost friends and old mistakes. Toward the end of our conversation, we began talking about how much our lives have improved over the years. The hardships we have faced have made us who we are glad to be today. I have honestly learned to be grateful for some of the most trying times in my life. The worst decisions I have ever made have lead me to learn the greatest lessons. If I had never tasted lemons, I would have no clue how sour they are. But I have had my share of lemons that no amount of sugar could sweeten! My friend has as well. So now, we can both sit back with thankful hearts and say, "Praise God. Lesson learned." That is one of the true beauties of having old friends. You get to see how God works His way into someone's life. Who and what He uses to shape them becomes apparent. You have the priveledge of watching the process unfold right in front of you. And in the end, you can celebrate the results of what the Master potter began years before.

Photo: Taken 1999

The Mistake

2006-09-15T12:40:00.000-07:00

My nurse, Katie, lightly tapped on my hospital room door to check on me for the third time. This time, she didn't offer me anything to help me sleep or a sip of water. Instead, she just hugged me while I cried and sat with me for a few minutes. She had the mid 1980's Olivia Newton-John hair style and didn't wear much make up. The reason I remember Katie so well is because she kept me company during one of the most frightening nights of my life. It was the night before surgeons at Children's Hospital in Boston would try to correct the curvature in my spine. My parents had gone to their motel room for the night to rest up for what we were told would be a twelve hour or longer operation. They left with me strongly assuring them that I was all right and would be just fine by myself. Even though I was only thirteen years old, I had already learned how to hold back my tears very well.

Photo: Top - Children's Hospital in Boston 1984
Bottom - Taken 1987

Don't Forget

2006-09-11T12:04:00.001-07:00

I was running late on my way to work that morning and was not paying close attention to what the DJ on the radio was saying. But I had Ashley, the young girl who was taking care of me at the time, turn the volume up when I heard him saying that something had exploded in one of the Twin Towers in New York. They didn't describe the size of the "explosion" at first, so I didn't get how serious the situation was until I heard the words I will never forget. "Oh my God, a plane! A plane just flew into the other tower. It's intentional!" And then silence. The DJ had no idea what to say at that point. It was obvious that he was watching the events unfold on a TV screen and was reporting what he saw. And what he saw horrified him to the point of speechlessness. In that few seconds of silence, I knew our world had forever changed.
We all know exactly where we were and what we were doing when we learned that our country was under attack on this day five years ago. We have also all struggled to make sense out of the senseless. In the days immediately following the 9/11 attacks, there was an overwhelming feeling of disbelief that we all experienced. We also shared a new found unity in the knowledge that nothing on this earth can or should be taken for granted. Can you remember how that felt? The moment we saw just how quickly everything can change is a moment we never need to forget.
To me, this is one of the greatest tragedies of 9/11. Unfortunately, those who were not directly impacted by the events on that day seem to have slipped right back into the previous existence. It is almost as if it never happened. During that week five years ago, celebrity weddings and divorces didn't matter, sporting events didn't matter, the latest fashions and the most popular TV shows did not matter. We all took the time to assess for ourselves what mattered to us. We became acutely aware of what is valuable to us as individuals and as a country. The patriotism that our country shared during that time was astounding. We realized how deeply we had been blessed. And for a brief moment in time, we were truly grateful.
For all of those who lost their lives on 9/11 and for those who survived, we owe it to them to remember. Not just today, but forever.

Get Over It

2006-09-08T16:24:00.000-07:00

When I went to the pastor of the church I attend to ask about becoming a member in April of 2005, one of the first things he asked was, "Have you been baptized?" When I told him I had not, he wanted to know why. What came out of my mouth was the first thing that went through my mind, "I just always thought it was too much trouble." From the time I was saved at thirteen years old, I had always wanted to be baptized. But every time I thought about it, all I could think was how on earth would I be able to do that? Someone would have to carry me up a flight of stairs, figure out a way to place me in the water, and then carry me back out again. I wanted to do it not only out of a desire to follow the example of Christ, but also I felt the need to experience what baptism represents. I needed the symbolism of the death of my old self and rebirth of the new in Christ. But no matter how heart felt this desire was, I still could not bring myself to ask anyone to help me carry it out. I simply thought it would require too much effort and that it would not be worth the trouble it would cause. When I explained all of this to my preacher and spoke the words, "too much trouble," I will never forget how he looked at me. He kneeled down, so that we would be face to face when he said, "That won't be any trouble at all. If you want to be baptized, we will get you baptized!"
The look that my preacher gave me that day was the same one I saw on my friend Sam's face a few weeks ago. He was taking me out of my wheelchair so I could rest my back. When he got ready to pick me up, he asked where I wanted him to put me. Again, I said the first thing that came to mind, "Wherever I'll be out of the way." Only this time, something happened that had not ever happened before. In that split second when I looked up at Sam, I felt so unbelievably silly, I had to smile! I have been thinking about that moment a lot ever since.
Many times over the last few years, I have prayed and struggled over the issue of feeling like a burden. The approach I had always taken before when combating this problem was to try to convince myself of my value as a person. I would tell myself repeatedly that just because people have to make a special effort to help me, doesn't make it wrong for me to ask for help. Recently, I have begun to approach this issue from a different angle. In the moment that I smiled at my own silliness, I saw how self absorbed I was being. Most of my life I have battled feelings of being in the way all the time or not worth the time or trouble it takes to care for me. The amount of time I have spent on that and various other issues is staggering. The very definition of self absorption is the preoccupation with oneself or one's own affairs. For me to spend that amount of time on any issue that revolves around my own needs rather than the needs of others is wrong. It is not about building my self-esteem or self-worth. It is about me getting over my own self, getting on with the blessed life that God has granted to me and helping as many people as I can while I'm here.
I was baptized May 1, 2005. And this new life that I re dedicated to God back then is getting more interesting with each passing day.

Photo: Taken 2002

True or False

2006-09-05T16:55:00.000-07:00

There is a problem that I have noticed for some time now that needs to be addressed amongst those of us in the Christian faith. Somehow, we seem to have convinced ourselves, and those around us, that life on this earth becomes perfect once we accept Christ as our Savior. We introduce people to Jesus by promising a better life and when their circumstances don't improve, we conveniently say, "It must not be God's will." We also tend to have a problem with acting as if we are somehow better than others simply because of our faith, which is ironic given that
because of our faith, we should know better. We even do this with each other. Some act as though if you have more mountains to climb than peaceful valleys, you must not be a good and faithful Christian. I have actually heard it said, upon hearing of someone else's turmoil, "that person must not be living right."

Nothing But The Best

2006-09-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

Ask me what it is like to be born disabled, and I can tell you pretty much all you ever wanted to know and more. But if you ask me what it is like to be the parent of a child born disabled, then I can only guess. As hard as I've tried, I can never seem to get a grip on what that would be like. The fact is, you never fully understand what any situation is like for someone else until you have been there yourself. When I was born, there was no prior knowledge that I was going to be different. My mother had already had one child, my sister, Dana. Other than not gaining as much weight with me, the pregnancy seemed normal. The adjustments my parents had to go through, especially in the first couple of years of my life, seem unfathomable to me.

* Photo: My first "walker"

I Was Born This Way

2006-09-03T07:05:00.000-07:00

Disabilities 101

2006-08-31T19:43:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it amazes me how much times have changed when it comes to people with disabilities. For instance, there is a huge emphasis these days on the terminology that should be used. I was born with no arms or legs in 1970. Back then, the common phrases I heard when people would refer to me were, "crippled child" or "the little handicapped girl." Today when people call my work looking for me but can't recall my name, they will ask for, "that girl in the wheelchair." With that phrase, in today's politically correct world, I'm not sure which part should be offensive. Should it be the part where I'm referred to as a person in a wheelchair? There are other distinguishing features that they could point out, I guess. Or should I be offended over the fact that I'm a 35 year old woman whose being called "a girl?"

Photo: Taken 1993

The First Prayer

2006-08-29T11:27:00.000-07:00

"Will I be able to run track like Dana when I get big?" I remember asking my Daddy this while sitting on our den floor in the trailer we lived in when I was five years old. We lived in that trailer for one year while our "big house," a house that would be better suited for someone who was in a wheelchair, was being built. "I just don't know Pooh, we'll have to see," was the answer I got. What could you say to a five year old girl who was just discovering for herself how different her body was from everyone else's? I remember having to work up the nerve to even ask that question in the first place and being scared to death of what kind of answer I would receive. By that time, I had already been Alabama's March of Dimes child the year before. I had already been exposed to the fact that people looked at me differently than they looked at everyone else, even though I couldn't completely figure out why.

* Photo: March Of Dimes Child publicity photos 1975

When In Crisis

2006-08-27T14:04:00.000-07:00

Dr. Maya Angelou is one of the best Christian authors I know. She may not be considered a Christian author. But when you read her work, you know she is. I have a quote on my refrigerator door by Dr. Angleou that reads, "When in crisis, say Thank You."
We naturally seem to thank God when things feel right to us. When the world seems to be turning in a favorable direction, we are grateful. But to say thank you when things aren't going our way is the last response that most of us would have. Why would you say thank you in a crisis? What on earth would you have to be thankful for when your world shatters around you? What I think Dr. Angelou meant is this:
Number one: We are still on this earth. We still have breath in our lungs and a heart that's still beating. God could have given up on us and taken us out a long time ago for all the times we chose not to serve Him. But He chose to give us chance after chance. And for that, we should be thankful.
Number two: God is still here. He's with us every day, every hour and every minute. No matter what we are facing, He is all around us; watching, guiding and protecting. He gave us His son as a sacrifice to make us right in His eyes through grace. No matter what we do, He never leaves us. And for that, we should be thankful.
Number three: We learn through crisis. When trouble comes, we have choices. Either we can fall or stand. When we choose to stand firm with God, we learn what strength is. We learn how to face our problems in the face of fear. And with each obstacle we overcome, we get better at it.
So, the next time life hits you in the stomach or knocks the wind out of your sails, say, "Thank You, I'm in a crisis!"

WRITTEN AUGUST 2006

Facing Fear

2006-08-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

My prayer as an eight year old girl was, "Lord, please give me arms and legs before I turn eighteen." I asked this of God from my bedroom, night after night, for several months. In my mind, ten years was plenty of time for God to accomplish this task that would eliminate my problem. My fifteen year old sister, Dana, was in the beginning stages of making plans for college. She knew what she was going to do after high school. I did not. And by the time I was eight years old, that was my biggest worry. I knew as long as I was in school, my life would be predictable. My Mom would get me up every morning and take me to and from school. Every summer, I would go to Camp ASCCA. There was a certain amount of comfort in this routine. As far as I was concerned, life after high school resembled the earth suddenly going flat. My wildest imagination couldn't take me beyond that point in time.

* Photo: Taken at Camp ASCCA, 1986

Best Friends

2006-08-27T13:42:00.000-07:00

My first counselor, Donette, sat me down on the bathroom floor so we would have plenty of reading light. She had a large book that seemed as big as I was when she opened it. As she began to read, I remember feeling very nervous. I was seven years old at the time and I believe that children can sense when bad news is coming. Donette was attempting to answer a question I had asked her earlier that day and being the good counselor that she was, she wanted to make sure the information she gave me was accurate.

* Photos: Taken at Camp ASCCA: Above - Me and Latonya 1977
Below - Me and Latonya 1982

Home

2006-08-27T13:32:00.000-07:00

Most everyone agrees with the the old saying, "You can't go home again." Countless songs and poems have been written over the years about this desire that we all have to retrieve the simpler times in life. This quest seems never ending and we can all relate to it. So, can you go home again?
Home is all that is familiar and sweet. Home is where you are loved, accepted and appreciated for the unique beauty that only you can offer this world. Home is comfort and warmth. It is a true glimpse of heaven on earth.

Who Do We Think We Are?

2006-08-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

How important are we? How much do our little lives really matter in the grand scheme of things? If we're really honest about it, we act as if everything revolves around us at times. If you don't believe that, think about how bent out of shape we get when things don't go our way or as we planned. How do we act when the car won't start or when the bank mistakenly fails to show a deposit? How many of us remind ourselves at that moment of the countless people who don't own a car or have never had a bank account in their name? Unfortunately, most of us would have to admit a level of selfishness that should make us feel ashamed.

He's Got The Whole World In His Hands

2006-08-27T13:19:00.000-07:00

He's got the whole world in His hands. The song we all learned as children can take on a deeper meaning for us as adults. As adults, we tend to want the whole world in our hands! We have compulsions to control, manipulate and force our way into getting what we want and think we need. We usually go so far as to believe that we know what we need. We act as if we know better than God what is and will be best for us. We use our own power to make major as well as simple decisions in our lives. We are all guilty of using our own limited knowledge to forge ahead at full steam into the vast unknown.
Imagine. We have the Lord of all on our side and we choose to depend on ourselves! We choose to hold onto our past, rather than give it to Him. We choose to hold onto old resentments rather than letting Him take them from us. We choose to keep our defenses and guard up rather than humbling ourselves to bow down before our Savior.
God created the very lives we seek to control. He created the earth that we try to control upon. Everything we see and touch is His. Everything we own, have owned and ever will own belongs to Him. It is all His. We are all His. This whole world is in God's hands. And thank the Lord, there is nothing any of us can do about it!

WRITTEN MARCH 2006

In The Name Of Jesus, We Pray

2006-08-27T12:55:00.000-07:00

Have you ever sat down and tried to take it all in? If you have, you probably found yourself weeping like a child. If you have not, take it in now.
Jesus died for you. Jesus, the Living Son of God, suffered and died on the cross as a payment for all the wrong you have done or ever will do. He knows all we are, all we have seen and heard, and loves us anyway! He was and is real. He lived and He sill lives. He asked forgiveness from His Father on behalf of the ones that nailed Him to the cross. He forgave them and He forgives us of our every trespass. He seeks us when we are lost and rejoices when we are found. When we call His name, He is there in the form of the Holy Spirit. When we accept Him as our Lord and Savior, He provides direction and guidance in all of our decisions, if we allow Him to take the lead. He gives us a will of our own and lets us choose the path we take. If we choose the wrong road, we do not need to worry or fear. Those of us who have made the decision to step into His loving grace are never lost again.
When we utter the familiar words, "In the name of Jesus, we pray," we are summoning up the greatest power in the universe. We all calling upon the bridge that connects us to the Almighty Father in heaven. Jesus died for us. We owe Him to do our best to take it all in.

WRITTEN FEBRUARY 2006

A World Of Judgment

2006-08-27T12:48:00.000-07:00

Reese Witherspoon's portrayal of June Carter Cash in the movie "Walk The Line" moved me when I heard her say the words that have been in my heart and on my mind so many times, they have left me cold. "I've got a world of judgment on me right now," she said. You can only know what a world of judgment feels like if you've actually walked through hell fire and lived to tell about it. Some of us have done or seen things in this world that are so disturbing, the darkness of it never lets us go. The memories and nightmares can haunt you until you feel the world of judgment bearing down on you so hard that you can't fight it's grip any longer. It's only when you reach a state of exhaustion that you have no choice but to stop fighting. I believe all of us endure our own form of demons and temptations. We all face our own calamities. None of us will escape this world without feeling the unbearable heat caused by the evil in this world and sometimes our reactions to it.
What we as Christians however, experience is the world of judgment lifted from our shoulders. When we fall in exhaustion upon the Lord, we receive the awesome grace of God. And in that grace is a forgiveness that ends all nightmares and fades away all vile memories. The world of judgment is replaced by the hope that only God can provide. We rise from the darkness into the beauty that is restored to us only by the Lord's perfect light of love.

WRITTEN JANUARY 2006